Book jokes

Teacher: Who is your favourite author?
Pupil: George Washington.
Teacher: But George Washington never wrote any books.
Pupil: You got it.
Librarian: Why don't you take home a Dr. Seuss?
Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls.
Teacher: How many books did you finish over the summer?
Pupil: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.
Teacher: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
Pupil: I don’t know. I’m not dead yet.
Teacher: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe?
Pupil: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.
Teacher: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War?
Pupil: It doesn’t tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing. My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday. I couldn’t find the words to thank him.If you don’t know what the word “dictionary” means, where would you look it up?
Teacher: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?
Pupil: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.
Teacher: Where is South America?
Pupil: I don’t know.
Teacher: Where is Greenland?
Pupil: I don’t know.
Teacher: Where is Bulgaria?
Pupil: I don’t know.
Teacher: Look them up in your textbook.
Pupil: I don’t know where that is, either.

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